Here, from this point forward, is an insight into my mind. My chaotic, worrying and chatty mind. I am no writer, nor do I particularly like writing. I have failed at diary keeping since I was old enough to write. I had the pink fluffy one with a padlock that any prying brother could break into with the slightest wiggle of a hairpin. I had the ‘My Secret Diary’ which was electronic and was probably the height of technology at the time. I’ve had the edgy one with elephants on it, bought from an organic ‘world shop’ that my friend worked in, made with recycled paper dyed promising to donate to good causes. All these diaries were opened, my name neatly printed on the first page and were crowned with the grand hopes of keeping a diary every day to document the comings and goings of my not-so-interesting life. At that time, I thought my life was dramatic and I needed assistance processing the emotions I felt. The former wasn't true, I was just a typical teenager but a lot has changed - my life is far less interesting nowadays. The latter was true and not a lot has changed - I still need help processing the emotions I feel.
Hence, why we are on attempt 101 of keeping some form of written word. This time, in the form of a blog.
I have always envied my friends who were able to open a notebook, keep every page legible and neat whilst maintaining the therapeutic ritual of journalling. Said friends now can look back on their teenage scrawls and laugh at their fallouts between friends in Year 7 when Danielle looked at James when Danielle clearly knew Jane fancied him! Oh how much I could wish myself back to those times. I, however, managed to write one or two diary entries in my whole life. It happened to explain, in detail, the intimate details of one of my earliest sexual experiences, only for my mum to read it and decide she needed to speak to said boy about this 'inappropriate' experience. Oh, the joys! But that is a story for another day. So here we are...hiding behind an anonymous blog for fear of reliving that same experience once again. My mum reading my diary that is.
Although I have every intention of making this a regular occurrence –
I can’t promise it will be regular. I have a habit of starting things and when the excitement wears off, I couldn’t think of anything worse than keeping up that habit. However, over the past 5-10 years, I have toyed with the idea of blogging and now I’ve finally got around to doing it. Hopefully, if I fall out of love with it, it will only be temporary and when those roaring emotions come flooding back, this blog will be there waiting for me, ready to take notes.
And on that note, we reach the end of my first blog post. If you’ve got this far. Well done – I’m surprised for both of us.
Lots of love,
My Chatty Mind x
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